"We now know that 24 hours without sleep, or a week of sleeping four or five hours a night induces an impairment equivalent to a blood alcohol level of .1 percent…. We would never say, ‘This person is a great worker! He’s drunk all the time!’ yet we continue to celebrate people who sacrifice sleep for work."
Danielle Elliot @ The Atlantic: The Doctor Who Coaches Athletes on Sleep
I wonder if my junkie brain so eagerly and excitedly goes into unsleep-mode because it wants that certain derangement of the senses that sleeplessness brings. like speedy kids putting sugar in sodas, like abstaining alcoholics sugar-binging to replace the alcohol sugars in their system, it can feel like a kind of over-the-counter bootleg solution to the problem of having to live life not-fucked-up-all-the-time.
sure, it’s time and a feeling-space i can use, i can convert into work, but it’s a feeling i like.
i romanticize exhaustion. i worry about it. i have to put sleep on my to-do list and have been working for a very long time to think of it as a thing that needs done, rather than a bodily weakness to avoid (which was kinda s.o.p. since, y’know. forever). i have to treat sleep like work, like a part of the job, like a task, a box to Get Done and Check Off. Otherwise, like exercise, it goes undone.
half a thought, i dunno. i’ve not encountered any studies looking at sleep habits of the addict and the recovering, but as sleep and brain chemistry are so fundamentally related… well, maybe there’s more than one reason for all those midnight meetings out there.